I wrote two stories!

The first one is entitled 'Breakthrough.'

It was a dark and stormy night, much like you'd expect on Friday the 13^th. It was late at night, but Matthew was still in the lab.

"Breakthrough," he muttered, tired eyes peering through the microscope. Matthew ran one hand through his hair, making it stand on end.

"This…this is unbelievable." Without looking away, he switched on the video recorder and went to grab the smallest scalpel he could find, which happened to be a butter knife.

He grabbed a sharpener and began running the blade through it. Small metal shavings flew everywhere as his rush to finish increased. Finally, he deemed the knife sharp enough.

To Matthew, the trip back to the microscope took an eternity. Nothing he could ever do, ever, would prepare him for this moment, he though. Ever. He lifted the lens to place it in the eyepiece he was wearing and ever-so-slowly positioned the butter knife's blade.

Slamming the sharpened blade against the lab table with all his available force, he shut his eyes and hoped for the best.

Nothing happened.

Matthew opened one eye; all was silent. Success!

Then the world exploded, sending huge chunks of the earth's core into space.

And that, my dear friends, is why you do not use a butter knife to split atoms.


FIN.


This one is called 'How School Came Into Existence.'



Once upon a time, not-so-far-away and not-too-long-ago, a tribe of unicorns lived happily in the land of Fallie*. The unicorns lived at peace with the humans, dogs, and cats, and vice versa. Until Nathan the Evil Kitty of Evil Adorableness came along, that is.


Nathan the Evil Kitty of Evil Adorableness loved to torture children from the ages 6-18, but nothing he had tried thus far had worked well enough. Then Nathan the Evil Kitty of Evil Adorableness thought of something, the worst thing in the world. He would force poor, defenseless children to stay in a building designed after a prison for seven straight hours every day but Saturday and Sunday. Those days were for extra work on what they learned in the building. He called this concept School.


School would force these children to learn many pointless things and take many pointless tests on the pointless things. These tests would be called TCAP** and it would waste millions of paper a week.


Unfortunately for Nathan the Evil Kitty of Evil Adorableness, there wasn't any open land for him to build the School. Finally, he found a big enough tract of land, but there was still a problem: the unicorns lived there.


Nathan the Evil Kitty of Evil Adorableness decided to commit genocide and tear down the forest just to torture the kids. 


So he did and the unicorns were wiped out.


And the world was forever changed because of the greed of Nathan the Evil Kitty of Evil Adorableness.


*Fallie is present-day Nashville.
**TCAP doesn't really stand for anything, Nathan the Evil Kitty of Evil Adorableness just wanted to sound pretentious.